4 Weeks to go – and I feel sick!


It’s exactly four weeks until my next book comes out! Yesterday I completed the final proofread and so it has now left the building for good. What is done is done. No more chances to change or tweak. This is why I feel sick. I think most authors are loathe to let go. There’s always that niggling feeling that you could still improve it in some way.  But as my husband says, ‘You are seeing the hole and not the Polo…’ (not sure how helpful that is!). I also feel sick because this one is a bit different. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still funny,  but when you write a book about a woman who discovers she has a terminal illness on the same day as her husband is having an affair….well… that is just a bit different isn’t it.

I’m going to put it out there that I think it’s my best yet…there I said it! I know I shouldn’t but I’m going to stick my neck out. Because this one has to be, you see. It was partly inspired by a very special person who always did her best, always bought her A-game. This is my A-game, which is why I feel sicker than usual sending back the proof. No doubt I will go through agonies over the next month until it’s in your hands and you can tell me what you think about how Jenny reacts to the two catastrophes in her life. I hope it makes you laugh and cry. Please do let me know.

THE LAST LAUGH is out on February 23rd 2018. You can pre-order here now.


IMG_0377A poll has revealed that 51% of adults have had sex on Christmas Day!

When I began writing NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON CHRISTMAS DAY, I assumed it would be highly unusual for anyone to get around to any bedroom action on a day traditionally packed full of family, food and festivities.

But I decided to issue my own poll after midwife Mhairi Maharry, 33, took to social media a few weeks ago to jokingly ask that people abstain from having sex during the season of goodwill in response to the spike in babies born every year in September.

In my poll, shockingly 51% of adults revealed they’d treated themselves to a little extra gift on Christmas Day with their partner. Perhaps even more surprising is that of those that said they had, 48% have young children in the house. Could many of these be a result of Christmas Day sex? Indeed according to statistics between 1995 and 2014, September 26 is the most popular day to give birth with an average of 2,000 deliveries. September 26 falls 39 weeks and two days after Christmas day.

When I wrote my number 1 bestseller NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY I did a similar poll and indeed it did turned out that Tuesday was the least popular day of the week to have sex. When I chose to write a comedy about the chaos of family life around Christmas I never dreamed that sex was on the Christmas gift list for many couples. I wish I’d have asked how on earth they found the time – before or after the brussel sprouts!

NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON CHRISTMAS DAY is released Tuesday 24th October 2017


NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON CHRISTMAS DAY – The book I didn’t want to write!


So my latest novel is out this week but when I was first asked to write it by an esteemed editor at Penguin Random House back in 2013, I said no! Wow – check me out!!!

So what caused me to reject the idea? I think I was on a total high after the massive success of NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY and I didn’t want to jinx it.  A Christmas instalment could have failed and ruined the best selling bubble I was existing in. I also didn’t want to be a follower. Lots of other writers were getting on the bandwagon of Christmas themed romances and I wanted to break the mould rather than fit into it – hence I wrote a Christmas book about George Clooney instead! But most of all it was because I didn’t have a big idea, I didn’t know what to do with these characters over the Christmas period. You can’t write book without big ideas, well I can’t anyway.

That all changed over a chance coffee with friends last year when we all piled out our Christmas woes. It was clear that despite the romance and magic surrounding the period that it’s also a peak time for chaos and stress! When someone mentioned that their mother-in-law was visiting and bringing along her 80yr old toy-boy, causing major festive trauma over where they should sleep – well something clicked. Big ideas started to flow.

NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON CHRISTMAS DAY is full of the festive spirit with a healthy dose of the reality of the nightmare of striving for that perfect family moment. It feels like there is always someone there to screw it all up for you and it’s normally your nearest and dearest!

NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON CHRISTMAS DAY – out 24th October 2017

‘Laugh-out-loud funny, emotional and festive… This is THE Christmas read of the year without a doubt. Absolutely loved it from beginning to end.’ Mum Reinvented




When can you call yourself a writer??


I’ve often heard it said at writing conferences that if you write you are a writer. However I have never held with that view. I’ve always thought that I could only call myself a writer if I was being paid to do it. I mean I would love to call myself a model but no one is offering me cash to see me strut up and down the landing in my finery so I don’t see why I should be allowed that label!

I do however like the view put forward by two writers, Phoebe Waller-Bridge and Kate Tempest in this article for the Guardian, especially as I lurch desperately towards the end of my first draft of my latest novel. It’s all about finishing.  So enough of this putting off finishing by posting an extract about finishing and I’ll go back to being a writer and try and finish! Full article is attached in a link at the end. 

PWB Can I ask you, Kate, writer to writer: do you ever write something and go, “Smashed it, that’s brilliant, I’m keeping that, that’s amazing.” Does it get to the point where you can step back and go, “That’s a really good piece of writing” or, “That’s not such a good piece of writing.” Or do you just write it all down and not think of it critically?

KT It’s not like, “Wooh, I’m smashing this” but sometimes everything else disappears, and that happens very rarely. The rest of the time, it’s you writing when you don’t feel like writing, writing when you hate everything that’s coming out, forcing yourself to engage with the idea that it’s going to be shit no matter what you do, and trying to kind of break through that because of a deadline, or because you know that it’s very important to continue. This is what enables you to be a writer.

The difference between a writer and someone who dreams of being a writer is that the writer has finished. You’ve gone through the agony of taking an idea that is perfect – it’s soaring, it comes from this other place – then you’ve had to summon it down and process it through your shit brain. It’s coming out of your shit hands and you’ve ruined it completely. The finished thing is never going to be anywhere near as perfect as the idea, of course, because if it was, why would you ever do anything else? And then you have another idea. And then these finished things are like stepping stones towards being able to find your voice.

The thing is, everybody’s got an idea. Everybody wants to tell me about their ideas. Everybody is very quick to look down on your finished things, because of their great ideas. But until you finish something, I’ve got no time to have that discussion. Because living through that agony is what gives you the humility to understand what writing is about.


Read the full article here: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/26/phoebe-waller-bridge-kate-tempest-conversation-fleabag

When going to the cinema is research…not bunking off!


So 10am yesterday morning finds me in a the cinema waiting for T2 Trainspotting to start. There’s me and a cool looking couple in their forties and a man in a mac. There’s always a man in a mac alone in the cinema  isn’t there? I’d convinced myself that I was there for research purposes. The themes in my current work-in-progress are also covered in the much anticipated sequel. Getting older, nostalgia, regret, screwing it up and friendship. But really I was just desperate to see it. To say I’d seen it is probably more accurate. I’ve thought long and hard afterwards about why it felt so good to see the ultimate losers of Renton, Sickboy, Spud and Begby again. It was my ten year old son who gave me the answer. I played Born Slippy by  Underworld to him, the highly recognisable theme tune from the original film. I was amazed he didn’t love it. “How can you not love it? I demanded. “This was the biggest song on the planet twenty years ago.” “Exactly,” he shrugged.  And that was when I realised that what all us forty somethings are really  excited about is the fact that Trainspotting  reminds us that we were cool once. Twenty years ago, we were at the cutting edge of a cultural phenomena – we were it – the generation that discovered and celebrated something new and different and shocking and brilliant. And no-one, not even a ten year old can take that away from me in my middle-age. So I will go and see the sequel and pretend I’m cool again and pretend it’s research for my latest novel and tell everyone that’s what I’ve have done.

What authors do to avoid writing…

So I’m at a really tricky bit in my latest novel. I’ve been here before and I know the only answer is to crack on and write through it. Don’t over think it just write and the answer will appear. Instead of following my own advice however I will typically  find anything possible to avoid the pain of sitting and staring at a screen when the words aren’t flowing. Today’s attractive distraction so far is this. img_1920

I am choosing to try and mend the dishwasher which hasn’t drained rather than trying to work out my protagonists husbands motivation in chapter 25!

Now I have walked away from the dishwasher and chosen to write about mending the dishwasher rather than work out my protagonists husbands motivation in chapter 25!

My prediction on how my day will go….I don’t see me solving either by the end of the day.

Hello – It’s me!

I know, I know, I haven’t written anything here for a while but in the interests of starting 2017 as I mean to go on, I have vowed to share more with those willing listen. So thank you if you are reading this. I will do my best to provide some nougats of entertainment and information.

2017 finds me half way through writing my sixth novel!!  Wowser – how did that happen?So today I have decided to share what I’ve learnt having written five and a half books.

  1. That the bit you thought was hilarious, no-one seems to notice, but something you thought wasn’t that funny, cracks people up. Comedy is weird, weird thing.
  2. Most 60+ yr old men I meet think I write erotic novels and make jokes about sex and Tuesdays. I will write the book they think I wrote one day!
  3. Nothing beats the thrill of receiving your book published in Serbia covered in pictures of bonking rabbits?
  4. The people who ask me how to get a book published but haven’t actually written anything yet, I know will never be published.
  5. A huge amount of television needs to be watched for research purposes.
  6. Social media is the time enemy of all writers but without it we’d be lonely during the day and would eat more biscuits. Facebook is my current diet of choice.
  7. Writers are the only workers on the planet who wish they could attend more meetings. Just let me talk please!
  8. Writing can make you so happy and full of joy when it’s going right and so cross and wretched when it isn’t, but you know it’s worth it in the end.  A bit like marriage really!

I will end on a wine and book  recommendation since I have just been  on a trip to New Zealand and consumed much of both! My favourite novel was an oldie from Jojo Moyes, called The Last Letter From Your Lover. An absolute classic love story but with some superb twists. I couldn’t put it down. And this was drunk by this view. Both divine.

Back soon – Tracy x




Hi Everyone – here’s some news on my new book which I thought I’d try to deliver to you in person…sort of.

NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX IN THE SUBURBS  is the sequel to NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY but don’t worry if you haven’t read that one as no previous experience is necessary. It has been an utter joy to go back to characters I already know and love especially Daniel and Braindead! Somehow they wrote themselves which is something I’ve never experienced before as a writer. Both of their unique senses of humour came flooding back which I hope will ensure you find some laugh-out-loud moments.

You can pre-order for just £1.99 now if you like then it should land with you on the 23rd June. I’m very keen to hear what you think of it so don’t forget to get in touch and let me know or leave a review.

Have a great weekend.

Tracy xx


I’m a 44yr old mother of two and last week I spent two days on my hands and knees destroying toy trolls. It was brilliant!!! My children think I’m off my rocker which has to be code for “you are the coolest dude on the planet”….right? My mother did express concern when I announced I’d broken the blender because the the trolls were too hard but then calmly suggested I put them in the oven to soften them up a bit. She knows some stuff my mum. However, having admitted to the destruction of one kitchen implement my sister-in law was reticent to lend me her “cooks blowtorch thingy” that she finishes an excellent creme brûlée with. To her credit though when I explained that I would be flambéing a green haired troll she handed it over readily.

So here it is. Many trolls were lost during the creation of the trailer for the paperback launch of SINGLE WOMAN SEEKS REVENGE this Thursday. There was no risk assessment however I’m pleased to report that myself and the awesome Swainson Productions were not injured during filming. We were just left with grassy knees and aching bellies from laughing so much!

Hope you like it.


I Will marry George ClooneyWhat I’m struggling to get my head round this morning is that nearly three years ago I came up with the idea of writing a book called I WILL MARRY GEORGE CLOONEY about a chicken factory worker whose life is in tatters so she decides to try and achieve the impossible and marry George Clooney. Then 12 days….yes just 12 days before my novel is due to be released he only goes and gets married!!

The book was all done and dusted before he announced his engagement in April. My son informed me of George’s change of status sending me into a slight frenzy. Crisis talks were held between Derby and my publisher in London as we tried to decipher the impact of this shocking news. But then we calmed down. George Clooney is still George Clooney, irreplaceable as our modern day Prince Charming. The man most women fantasise will come and rescue them when the going gets tough. So what if he’s married!

So if you want to see how Michelle from Derby approaches the task of trying to marry George Clooney you can read an extract on the front page of my website. If you want to find out whether she manages it you can pre-order on Amazon or it will be in stores from the 9th October.



Tracy xx (keeping the dream alive!)