I’m overjoyed to share with you that this writing malarkey finally presented me with a serious retail challenge. My agent called to tell me that a publisher was interested in meeting me. And not just any old publisher at that, a biggie. See if you can guess which one from my cryptic clue. Antarctic bird lives in pink igloo! Read on to see if you’re right.
My immediate reaction was yippee – at last an excuse to buy something to wear, given my life as a mum/writer has depressingly little requirement for purchasing clothes to impress. Such was my excitement I drove straight past my adjacent city and headed a good forty minutes further to an even bigger city and trawled the shops whilst trendy young sales assistants sneered at my audacity to enter their establishments in an …anorak!
New outfit, handbag and crucially a new notebook purchased, I felt prepared to face the big guns in London. Requesting last minute advice from my son at school drop off on the way to the station, he advised four forward rolls followed by a bit of ‘Strictly’. Now I was knew I was armed and quite possibly dangerous.
On arrival at Penguin Random House (did you get it?) I struggled to suppress my excitement at the sight of a large bronze plaque on the building which had the words Random House on it. In totally over excited mode, I found this hysterically funny that we were visiting … a random house! I considered sharing this hilarity with my agent but she already had her serious face on so I decided I should pull myself together.
Sadly the room we had our meeting in was far too small for forward rolls and so I sat down politely, got out my new red notebook (Random House colours. Do you see what I did there?) and declined biscuits. I know! How professional can you get? And they were chocolate chip.
An hour or so later I left completely drained. The other members of the meeting bore the brunt of the fact that I spend most of my days in solitary confinement shouting the occasional swear word at my computer. The opportunity for prolonged adult conversation left me with a severe case of verbal diarrhoea as I explained my publishing journey in minute detail.
However I’m glad to say there must have been some glimmers of intelligence that shone through as not long afterwards they offered me a four-book deal, which I couldn’t be more excited about.
So I’m just left with thinking that I maybe could have got away with having a biscuit after all!