My First Day as an Amazon Best Selling Author

I’m very excited to tell you that overnight (sort of) NO-ONE EVER HAS SEX ON A TUESDAY has become a best seller! I thought you might like to hear about what happens the first day you become a best selling writer so here we go.

Daughter climbed in bed at 2am waking me up. Couldn’t resist a quick check of my Amazon rankings. #6!!! Spent next hour gazing at best seller screen on Kindle.
Woke at 6am. Looked again at rankings. #4!! Sent text to husband who is away with work. He called immediately waking daughter and son up. A bit cross with him!!
Spoke to husband who was on speaker phone whilst he shaved. First time he has ever multi-tasked. This is turning out to be an amazing day.
Show son Best Seller screen on Amazon. He asked when am I going to get ahead of that ‘David Brown’ and said he prefers the cover of the ‘Bolero’ book to mine.
Have Froot Loops in celebration for breakfast rather than Special K. Success is already no good for my diet!
Still only 7.30am so pace the house waiting to be able to call someone…..anyone!
Build some Lego for sons Harry Potter assault course. One of Harry’s challenges is now to do Karaoke with daughters Lego Friends.
Mop the kitchen floor.
Speak to agent just after 9. Unable to with-hold emotion. Have a little cry.
Finally get mother on the phone. She is openly proud. That’s a first.
Strip the beds and put sheets in the wash (it’s a good drying day) whilst children pretend to be slugs in the empty duvet covers.
Console wailing children who have banged heads whilst pretending to be slugs in empty duvet covers.
Tell kids we’ll go out for a celebratory lunch. They choose to go to a Carvery! (they are so eighties retro)
Eat too much roast beef. Feel a bit sick.
Play tag in the pub garden. Feel really sick.
Go to visit the in-laws so they can play tag and I can sit down.
Iron ten thousand white shirts in preparation for kids going back to school the next day. Kids watch TV for too long but it’s Horrible Histories so I’m educating them.
Inevitable shouting match at bedtime as we are all tired and irritable but eventually kids settle down.
Do 30 mins on the exercise bike. Success is good for my diet.
Drink half a bottle of wine to toast my success.
Send texts to anyone who knows me….some replied….some told me to just calm down!!

So there you have it. A day in the life of a best selling author!
This blog-post is dedicated to everyone who has supported me in the lead up to my best selling status. You will not be forgotten despite how obviously glamorous my life has just become.